Now if we have old people who have disciplined their lives and keep the advice given in the article Coping with Old Age and have learned how to live pleasantly in their old age--well then, anyone can get along with them. But, in case you haven't noticed, older people are not perfect either; and also the people who deal with them sometimes lack understanding, patience, and tolerance.The problem of coping with old people is not just found in their poor health, bad mental attitude, and a philosophy of life that runs against the grain. The people who deal with senior citizens must also have some knowledge of the problems of older people and some ability to deal with these problems.
The ten years we took care of my elderly mother were some of the best years of our lives, because my mother was a jewel. Every night I could hear her say her prayers: "Dear Heavenly Father, help me to be a good person and not to be a burden on my son and his wife. Let me carry myself so that I will not make life hard for my loved ones." Mother made it easy for us even when she was desperately ill and unable to take care of the simple functions of life.
Here are some suggestions for dealing with senior citizens that I have gleaned from working with my mother, my Aunt Dorothy, my Aunt Agnes, and innumerable ladies and gentlemen from the church and life who are older than I am:
One day I pondered this problem: "Why is it that people who have been driving for 50 years are often worse than someone who has been driving for a few months. Doesn't practice make perfect?" No! Practice does not make perfect, because we often practice our errors, and without proper feedback we cannot correct them. A person who has been driving for 50 years can be a lousy driver if he or she continues to perpetuate bad driving skills.
Just because a person has lived long, don't expect to find a saint or a perfect person. Accept people, even old ones, like they are.
One day I watched a nurse delighting in the experience of changing the diapers of a baby. The baby giggled as the nurse cooed, and extolled the virtues of the potty. Then she kissed the infant on her stomach and the bottoms of her feet as she carefully washed, wiped, oiled, and powdered her. She wrapped the baby in a blanket and with a little squeeze exclaimed, "There, you little precious one, that will make you feel better."
As it happened, I stood outside the room as the same nurse changed the bed of an old lady who had messed in it. The nurse called her every name in the book, jerked her around, and said such things as: "You make me puke, you dirty old bag. If I had my way, I'd let you lay in it." The nurse had no compassion or understanding in her care of an injured older person.
Frankly, an old person who is incontinent does not deserve any less respect than a baby who is not yet potty trained. We need to show respect for those who have lived long on the face of this earth. If we do, when we get in that condition, people will be more likely to show respect for us.
At another time I was visiting old friends in a nursing home when I heard the quiet sobs of a little old lady in a corner bed. She had outlived all her relatives. She was blind and very emaciated. Her bony fingers clawed feebly at the air as she moaned for a husband who wasn't there. I walked over to her bed, sat down, took her hand, and held it for two hours. She knew I wasn't her husband and since she couldn't see or hear she didn't know who I was. But, she did know that someone cared as she walked alone down the scary path to death.
The Bible very clearly tell us, "Honor your father and mother" (older people), which is the first commandment with promise "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." This principle of honor is the major way of dealing with our senior citizens--not just because I am one, but because it is the best way of dealing with older people.
Last update 7/26/96