Crabby...Crabapple
Crabgrass...Crab Tree
Crab seems to be a word
That no one wants to be.

Now I don't know how all this got started,
Misusing my good name this way.
I'm a trifle upset 'bout this problem
So I really must stand up and say...

I'm a HAPPY, OCEAN CREATURE.
Contrary to what you all thought.
So I'll clear up some gross misperceptions
And that old bill of goods that you've bought.

I may be a stalk-eyed crustacean,
But I can see all around me this way.
And although I only walk sideways,
I can go where I want in the bay.

And you may not think that I'm handsome
Compared to the lobster, a dud.
Well, I don't mean to boast but here on the coast
The female crabs think I'm a stud.

Okay, it's true, I've got pinchers.
But this too I really don't mind.
In fact, they come in quite handy
When I need to scratch my...

Behind me the ocean waves thunder
And the ocean breeze blows o'er the land.
If I feel that I may be in danger
I can bury myself in the sand.

To humans all this may seem trivial,
But to us crabs out here in the see
This is how we've adapted
And a crab is a good thing to be.

So don't use our name out of context.
CRAB is not a four letter word.
From now on if someone seems testy
Why not say, "Gee, What a Bird!"