I spent some time looking, at books on "home cooking",
When I first became an old hermit:
Canapes and entrees - souffles and parfaits -
But to Hell with it! I'll never learn it!

So, I've given up, reading "teaspoon" and "cup" -
Now I just dump all that "stuff" in together.
Then I turn up the heat - burning "veggies" and meat
For the "ambiance" of "unplucked chicken feather".

I make bugs, slugs and snails - even pan-fried entrails,
And I have, on occasion, "thrown up".
Worms scurry through my slurry, but I never worry -
I just cover 'em up with "ketchup".

So, for primitive cuisine that's downright unclean,
There's no need to visit Fiji or Tibet.
Just come up on my hill for a bowl of my swill,
And the "grubbiest grub" man ever "et"! -
Magoo