I went into a restaurant and ordered, "A la carte."
The menu looked inviting, I decided,"Soup to start."
After waiting twenty minutes came the waiter with a tray,
And he set a bowl in front of me before he went away.
I lifted up my soup spoon, that's as far as I could get,
For instead of chicken noodle soup, my bowl was slightly wet.
I caught the waiter's eye and quickly beckoned him to come;
I said, "Waiter, I want chicken soup, I really would like some!"
"This bowl," I said, " 's disgraceful, for the bottom is quite wet!"

He said, "That bowl's not wet, sir," "That's your soup!"

I took a drink of water and I said, "Forget the soup!"
I never should have ordered it from such a nincompoop,
"Just bring the T-bone steak to me; be sure it's really rare,
For now I'm in a hurry and I have no time to spare!"
So another fifteen minutes passed me by before he came
With my steak and baked potato on a tray that looked the same.
I looked down at my dinner plate and asked the waiter whether
That dark brown item on my plate was over-cooked shoe leather.

He said, "Oh! That's not leather," "That's your steak!"

I couldn't wait much longer, so I looked him in the eye,
And I said, "Go feed it to your dog, and bring my apple pie."
Then I drank another coffee and I glared around the room,
And I'm sure the other diners thought I had the face of doom!
When at long last I got my pie I wasn't overjoyed,
For the gooey mess upon my plate was thoroughly destroyed.
I called out to the waiter, "What's this goop upon my plate?"
"I ordered pie, not tapioca, now I'm really late!"

He said, "That isn't tapioca," "That's your pie!"

"Bring my bill at once!" I told him, "I've sat here much too long!
And the food is really awful, I should get it for a song!"
So he opened up his notebook and he added everything,
And the total was outrageous, not the song I'd like to sing!
But I handed him my Visa and he took it to the till,
And he came back for my signature, it made me feel quite ill!
I put my Visa card away, preparing to get going
And I knew the waiter thought that his gratuity was owing.

I said, "Waiter, here's a quarter." "That's your tip!"

Youth Is A State Of The Soul -
Nothing To Do With Age, But Everything To Do With Attitude.
http://personal.nbnet.nb.ca/steldon/

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