My feet are swollen - 'can't wear shoes.
Got "gout" from drinkin' all that booze.
Both legs are numb; it's haard to walk.
"Strokes" make me mumble when I talk.

It's hard to see - and that's a fact!
'Cause each eye has a cataract.
'Don't hear nuthin' . . . almost mute.
'Got blotches on my "birth-day suit"!

My belly's big - my pants are small
{{And some "things" I can't find at ALL!}}
I wheeze and cough - 'smoked sixty years.
My breath and stench bring folks to tears.

But we could "smooch" on our first date,
and then we might "co-habitate"!
We'd have a "meaningful relation",
'Cause 'shack-ups' suffer Hell's damnation!

I'd check your neck and spinal braces -
'turn bolts and clamps, and tighten laces.
I'd gaze into your big, glass eye,
{{And swear I'd love you 'til YOU die}}

I'd oil your wooden leg and cane,
and try to please you, 'might and main'.
I'd brush your wig, and shine your pate.
((During "fits", I'd call for Help! ((But LATE!}}

You'd shovel snow - I'd check the weather.
We'd do ALL those things together.
You'd clean the hous - I'd go for beer'
I'd be right back! {{Don't wait up, dear!))

We'd drink and "party' night and day.
((Of course, my dear, YOU'D always pay!}}
You'd start to smoke and stay up late.
((Bur NEVER see my other "date"!}}