I'm finding much enjoyment
in my remaining "twilight" years;
Joys ignored by life's ferocity,
or obscured by my careers.

I avoid the world's depressing news
in every way I can,
And search, instead, for humor -
the joy and comedy of Man.

It turns up almost everywhere;
in unlikely nooks and crannies -
In "wiggly-giggly" children -
in "hen-clucking", smiling Grannies!

'In "harrumphing" grumpy old "galoots" -
"Cock-crowing" adolescents!
Even a grouchy "pickle-puss"
can be caughrt in effervescence!

It's found in rowdy workers' bars -
in their rude, but harmless banter;
And in "veddy proper" social clubs'
risque' "double entendre"!

It SINGS in childrens' playgrounds -
BURSTS from their art and papers!
But it chokes near politicians,
and "prune-faced" money-makers!

Folks come in different packages -
"short and fat" - and "tall and slim";
But the "fat" ain't always funny,
and the "tall" ain't always grim.

Some kids ARE down-right "ornery" -
some folks LOVE "spittin venom"!
You GOTTA stay away from them -
'ain't a WHIT of humor in 'em!

To glean the joy around you,
you gotta look REAL hard to find it.
You MUST be unconventional,
or you'll be blinded - "sour-minded"!

Don't EVER read the headlines,
(travails of "Tanya" and "The Juice").
And NEVER watch the "talk-shows",
(all those "weirdos" they turn loose)!

Immerse yourselves in "comic strips" -
read "Hagar" and "Andy Capp" -
When Life (or wife) oppresses THEM,
they simply take a nap!

To avoid becoming "Dagwood"
observe the wiles and guile of "Shoe"!
Try to emulate his "life-style"
in most everything you do.

Let your home (like his} look "lived" in -
a SEA of junk and books!;
Seek friends like his (I gather),
"ding-bat" Democrats and "kooks"!

Don't even GLIMPSE at "Doonsbury"!
Sell your BMW AND your Saab!
If you wanna find some joy in like,
you can't be a "Yuppie" snob!

I love to take my car on trips,
or just "gad" and "rutch" around.
It's fun to see all my friends
while driving through our town.

They all wave at me as I pass by -
their smiling faces glowing!
But NOW I see that when they wave
there's just ONE FINGER SHOWING!

I guess they're ALL "wrong thinkers"!
I'm JUST misunderstood!
They don't REALIZE how nice I am!
The whole bunch is NO DAMN good!

They're ALL jealous of my happiness,
but there'll be HELL to pay!
I'll "way-lay" every ONE of them!
"EVERY "dog" MUST have his day"!

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