Your dog has a homepage; it's his very own
Your mother complains you never do phone.
She hasn't a modem so why should you try?
You TOLD her which PC she ought to go buy.

When MAIL says "NO MESSAGE" you try it again
to see if it missed one; it does now and then.
Your phone bill's delivered to you in a box
most likely from checking for E-mail from Fox.

All of your friends have an @ in their name,
with some, you can't tell it's a guy or a dame.
Your head, now you're tilting it sideways to smile.
You're frantic; an issue is not in your file.

You refer to your bathroom in your home abode
as where you are going to do a download.
You better get help and do it damn quick.
I'm telling you pal, I think you are SICK!!!