Now this story is hard to believe but it’s true.
Those TV sales can cause an awful mess.
I bought this dawgone thing to protect myself,
now my family disowns me more or less.

Someone knew how they could stop attackers.
They invented this thing called, Myotron.
A video was telling what this thing could do.
A rapist scene was used to try it on.

This woman grabbed the weapon ‘neath her pillow.
Zapped three seconds, he’s helpless on the floor.
If you really want to fix him, zap his genitals.
"Still want sex?" "Oh Lord, not anymore!"

Well, this is how I got into trouble,
teasing ‘bout this to my daughter-in-law.
"If your son grows up with sexual problems,
the Myotron could sure control this flaw."

When my youngest mouths off to me, I’ll say,
"God’s going to zap you one of these days!"
He’d wet his pants and say, "O Lord forgive me!"
You never know, it just might change his ways.

Now I’m a threat to all of my family,
just because I told them what I saw.
Sure, I joked around like we always do.
Lord, it’s gutsy be’en a mother, or in-law!

The moral of this story is, never joke around,
if you buy something like a Myotron.
Lord have mercy, what they say you said,
makes no sense, it just goes on and on!

Never joke around about a Myotron.
You’ll start a feud like Hatfields and McCoys.
Maybe it’s because it hits so close to home,
buying all those kids "I’ve got the power toys!"

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