Well the other day I was told
You're worth a fortune when you get old
With gold in your teeth and silver in your hair
Stones in my kidneys and gas to spare

With all this wealth I should be gay
And I see five gentlemen every day
First Will power gets me out of bed
Then I visit John and get my newspaper read

Next to come is Charley Horse
Then Arthur Ritis, he's even worse
I don't argue, what's the point?
He just takes me from joint to joint

And then to finish off my day
I go to bed with Ben Gay
So why keep on, why do I bother?
Well I still have to look after your grandfather".