There is nothing the matter with me,
I'm as healthy as one can be!
I have arthritis in both my knees
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, and my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in!

Arch supports I have for my feet,
Or I wouldn't be able to be on the street,
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I'm alright.
My memory is failing, my head in a spin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in!

The moral of this as my tale I unfold--
That for you and me who are growing old,
It's better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let folks know the shape we are in!

How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my "get up and go" has got up and went.
But I really don't mind when I think with a grin,
Of all the grand places my "get up" has bin!

Old age is golden, I've heard it said
But, sometimes I wonder as I get into bed..
With my ears in the drawer, my teeth in a cup,
My eyes on the table until I wake up,
E're sleep overtakes me, I say to myself,
"Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf?"

When I was young my slippers were red,
I could kick my heels over my head.
When I was older my slippers were blue,
But I could still dance the whole night through.
Now I am old my slippers are black,
I walk to the store and puff my way back!

I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
And pick up the paper and read the "Obits",
If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead,
So, I have a good breakfast and go back to bed!!

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