I went to a lab for a serious test
Where one in ten thousand could possibly die.
Before I would let them proceed with the rest
I felt there was something that I had to try.

There's something that I had to know from the nurse
Before my permission to start doing that.
In order to keep me from feeling much worse,
To tell me what number they're currently at.

The nurse said, while waiting to fill out a form
To check any boxes for each of my ills.
A medical history is always the norm
and listing prescriptions for various pills.

I looked at the list and there sure was a lot
and checked every box plus the ones since my birth
I even checked those that I never had got
I might as well get all my damn money's worth!